The Intreims for Insanity
by Bar-Ohki
Summary: Bar-Ohki, Pakratt, and BIGben are in for the ride of their lives with the Smashers. ***Chapters 5-7***
1. An sudden enterance

Authors' Note (Bar-Ohki): It's me, be afraid. I'm writing with a good friend of mine who is.um.new. *pauses while muse screams at her* Oh. I see. He is an "inexperienced naïve loser who wants to write a fic but doesn't know how". We just happ- *Pakratt grabs Bar-Ohki and throws her across the room and takes control of the keyboard* "What? your muse got a problem with me?" *sA takes control of the keyboard by means unknown and rated much higher than that of the story* Yes I do! *before Pakratt can counter* YOU DON'T HAVE A MUSE!!! *Pakratt chucks sA into the Peach Room AND LOCKS THE DOOR. He then takes back control of the keyboard* "I don't have a muse because I can come up with my own Ideas!!!" *Bar-Ohki recovers from the throw and usurps the keyboard* Pakratt has a muse, he doesn't know his muse. We are writing a story (if that wasn't obvious.). BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks.  
  
Disclaimer: We don't know anybody except our selves and give all responsibilities back to Nintendo from which they hopefully came.  
  
Claimer: We take all glory and the unfortunate responsibility for what we write.hopefully. sA is Bar-Ohki's muse, she is to be used by Bar-Ohki only. Krunk, Pakratt's muse (sA introduced everyone) is owned by Pakratt. BIGben (who you shall meet later) we own as well.  
  
NOTE OF MAJOR IMPROANCE TO THOSE WHO CARE: This is the only time we will disclaim and claim. NOW YOU KNOW AND CAN'T COMPLAIN!! Hopefully..  
  
The Interims For Insanity  
  
Chapter 1: A sudden entrance  
  
By Bar-Ohki (who you might know of) and Pakratt (who none of you know (or want to *gets hit*))  
  
C. Falcon: O.O WHO ARE YOU!?!?!?!?!??!?!  
  
Pakratt: Hi.  
  
C. Falcon: ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!  
  
Bar-Ohki: You are unworthy to even try to use that many exclamation points.  
  
Pakratt: Hello, I am your master.  
  
C. Falcon: -.- Ya right. I'm Captain Falcon, bounty hunter and Smash Brother.  
  
Bar-Ohki: I know of a cute little bundle of major ass-kicking fire power, his name is Captan Ohki.  
  
C. Falcon/ Pakratt: WHO?  
  
Bar-Ohki: CAPTAN OHKI!  
  
C. Falcon: Okay. *A very non-persuaded look on his face* Still who are you? And what were you doing falling throw the roof like that?  
  
Bar-Ohki: I honestly don't know. ^-^ I am Bar-Ohki, the all-mighty fic- writer!  
  
Pakratt: I think I have a splinter!!! I need HELP!!!!!!!! Please.  
  
C. Falcon: *goes over the intercom and turns it on* LINK! THIS IS NOT FUNNY!!  
  
Link: *On other side of intercom* WHAT!?  
  
Pakratt: I'm confused, what's going on and why am I in 2d animation???  
  
Bar-Ohki: You aren't supposed to notice that.  
  
Pakratt: OOPS, it was my wit not my brains. So don't blame it on me. Hey can we see a movie??? I'm bored already.  
  
Link: What is going on over there? I'm hearing odd voices.  
  
Pakratt: Hi Link, my brother likes your games.was I supposed to say that??? How's it hangin' Homey G?  
  
Link: Ooooookay. Captain Falcon, I'll send Yoshi down. *hangs up*  
  
C. Falcon: *singing* KILL THE YOSHI!! KILL THE YOSHI!!  
  
Pakratt: Catchy funny little chicken song, do you have a computer, I need to get on IM and tell everyone that I'm here and it's boring me. Hey C. F.! Do we get to watch you in any battles with blood and gore and fun stuff like that???  
  
C. Falcon: 1) I don't know who you are and defiantly don't trust you with my computer. 2) Whatever IM is, my computer probably doesn't have it. 3) You're both too young to see that kind of stuff. Didn't you have a splinter?  
  
Bar-Ohki: He did, I removed it using my Swiss Army Knife that I keep in my pocket at all times just in chase something like this happens.  
  
Pakratt: I forgot you did that!  
  
Everyone falls over anime style.  
  
Bar-Ohki: I trust him with my extraordinarily fussy laptop. IM is Instant Messenger, which is a one-on-one chat system. Lastly, we have been exposed to all sorts of nasty things that are better left unreferenced.  
  
Yoshi arrives.  
  
Bar-Ohki: Run if you value your life and send Link in your steed.  
  
Yoshi: Good idea.  
  
Yoshi runs away.  
  
C. Falcon: HEY! I WANTED TO KILL HIM!!!!!  
  
Bar-Ohki: HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Try to beat THAT!  
  
C. Falcon: Ouch....  
  
Pakratt: A new exclamation point record.  
  
Bar-Ohki: I don't care what lies ahead. No time for this and follow my plan instead.  
  
C. Falcon: What is wrong with you!?  
  
Bar-Ohki: Who?  
  
C. Falcon: Both of you!  
  
Bar-Ohki: Time for a random event!  
  
Nana: *bellowing down from the enormous hole in the ceiling* HELLO!!  
  
BIGben, Pakratt's bother, falls through the ceiling, taking Nana with him.  
  
BIGben/ Nana: @_@ What was that?  
  
Bar-Ohki: Bb, Pak's twin brother.  
  
Authors' Note: BIGben is shortened to Bb, Pakratt becomes Pak, and Bar-Ohki becomes Bar or B. O..  
  
Link comes in.  
  
Link: They don't look a thing alike.  
  
Pakratt: We're fraternal.  
  
Link: That'll explain it then.  
  
Pakratt: Yo bro! Did you bring the Game Cube® that Bar-Ohki left at the house? And I can bet you forgot my CD player. Huh, Did you?  
  
Bar-Ohki: Don't tell me that you left LAPTOPfriend behind too!!!  
  
BIGben: . Ouch.lets say that it slipped my mind, thinking is to hard for me. BUT I brought CANDY. And, of course, my Rubber Ducky named Frodo.  
  
All: OH NO, NOT Mr. Frodo. AAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Why did I just say that?  
  
Bar-Ohki: Because of the people that are living above us in the clouds and are, unfortunately, controlling our lives.  
  
Link: *Quietly so none can hear* Curse the Triforce.  
  
Pakratt: Your becoming like us. HAHA! Like us, all of the rest of us. Become one, NOW!!!  
  
Author's Note: *everyone else screams: "NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*  
  
END OF CHAPTER 1  
  
Review NOW and wait for more from Bar-Ohki and Pakratt!!!! 


	2. Now what?

Authors' (and muses but who cares?) Note: I'll just say my share while Bar- Ohki and Pakratt argue over who gets to talk first. Bar-Ohki, Pakratt, and BIGben are only like that when on 'HAPPY MELEE HI' and a sugar hi at the same time. There are parts where they act normally (examples: "I honestly don't know."- Bar-Ohki, "...I need to IM everyone and tell them I'm here and board."- Pakratt, "BUT I brought CANDY."- BIGben). There have been some pranks going on at the SSB and C. Falcon doesn't like Yoshi because Pakratt wanted him to. *gets grabbed from behind by Bar-Ohki and thrown at Pakratt, rendering both of them unconscious. Bar-Ohki takes control of the keyboard.* Note to self: Never leave muse unattended at LAPTOPfriend for any reason or for any period of time. There shall be a Golden Sun reference. We do not own Golden Sun, Camelot does. HA! Now you can't fuss!! *gets shoved off by Krunk, who then takes control* Hopefully..........  
  
The Interims for Insanity  
  
Chapter 2: Now what?  
  
Summary of the story thus far (with extra stuff): *Pakratt managed to get control by means unknown* I don't see the point of summarizing 4 1/2 pages of written material. *Bar-Ohki: I'll do it if you don't want to.* Why am I doing it? *Bar-Ohki: Some authors are known for taking forever and a half then making you reread the last 3 chapters so that you can remember what is going on. We are just giving the readers a more user-friendly format.* BUT IT'S 4 1/2 PAGES WE ARE TALKING ABOUT HERE!! AND WE POSTED THE LAST CHAPTER YESTERDAY!! *Bar-Ohki: True, but it is a habit of mine and should become a habit of yours.* UGHH!! *Bar-Ohki's patience is starting to be stretched. sA takes notice of this and goes angry-chibi. sA: GET ON WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Okay! Okay! Bar-Ohki and me are in C. Falcon's room. We came in through the roof and don't know why we are here. My brother showed up and forgot EVERYTHING. He also took himself and Nana down a floor to join everyone in Captain Falcon's room. Bar-Ohki has a pocket knife and Bb has Mr. Frodo. I want a computer with internet. *Bar-Ohki: That wasn't so hard.* I will never do this again! Hopefully..........  
  
C. Falcon: *turns to Link* Help me get these THINGS out of here!  
  
Link: *sigh* If I must.  
  
Bar-Ohki: I'm not a THING! Bb is a thing.  
  
BIGben: HEY!  
  
Nana: GET OFF OF ME!!!  
  
Bar-Ohki: You should probably do that, you never know what an angry female can do -and far more importantly- WILL do.  
  
Pakratt: Like that time with Mrs. *****?  
  
Authors' Note: *Bar-Ohki in control* Pakratt, BIGben, and I all go to the same school. Mrs. ***** is our science teacher. We have censored her name- *Pakratt suddenly pushes her to the side and starts typing* to keep you from being scared. *sA kicks both of the authors away and types* Actually, it was to protect her identity, and because the school these 3 attend is so small, their own identities. *sA goes off and reprimands Pakratt for insulting Mrs. *****.*  
  
Link: I don't think we want to know about that.  
  
BIGben: Why? I want to tell.  
  
Link: This is based on your resent odd behavior and apparent mannerisms.  
  
BIGben: In English, please.  
  
Bar-Ohki: He thinks we are weird and -for the sake of his sanity- would rather not want to know.  
  
BIGben: Oh.  
  
C. Falcon: -_-+ ATHEM!  
  
Link: I'll take the left.  
  
The 2 Smashers circled around the 3 children and lunged at them en mass. Authors' Note: En mass means as a group. Link gabbed Bar and Pak by the back of their shirt collars and Captain Falcon sized Bb by his arms. Frodo falls off BIGben and onto Nana's head.  
  
Link: Where to?  
  
Pakratt: I am your master- I order you to let me down!  
  
Bar-Ohki: Like a true nature's child, we born-born to be wild. We can fly so high: we're never gonna die!  
  
Link: o.O Oooookay.  
  
C. Falcon: Now you know why this isn't funny.  
  
Link: O.O You STILL think I am the one responsible for all of this?!?!!!  
  
Pakratt: Yes.  
  
Link: -.- I didn't ask you.  
  
BIGben: MR. FRODO!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! *tries to get the rubber duck but fails*  
  
Bar-Ohki: Sam, will you shut-up if we give Mr. Frodo back to you?  
  
BIGben: Yes.  
  
Pakratt: DON'T GIVE THE DARK LORD TO MY BROTHER!!!  
  
Nana: What is the problem with the duck?  
  
Pakratt: It hasn't gotten you yet. BUT LOOK WHAT IT DID TO MY BROTHER!!!  
  
Nana: What should I do with it?  
  
BIGben: Give him back!  
  
Nana: Second opinion?  
  
Bar-Ohki: This sugar cane, this lemonade, this hurricane- I'm not afraid! Come on, come on- no-on can see me cry. This lighting stone, this tidal wave, this avalanche- I'm not afraid! Come on, come on- no-one can see me cry.  
  
Everyone Else: o.O Ooookay.  
  
Pakratt: She likes her musac.  
  
Nana: Anything besides random sentences that have no meaning to me.  
  
Bar-Ohki: But it's my favorite part of Imitation of Life by REM!  
  
Authors' Note Number *pauses to count* Seven (of the entire story): The other random sentence Bar-Ohki said in Chapter 1 was from City Escape from Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. We don't own ether of the songs.  
  
Nana: Link? Falcon?  
  
Link: Give it to him, it can't harm him any more than it already has. And it won't get you. Not that I actually believe that the duck is capable of corrupting anything.  
  
C. Falcon: DON'T CALL ME "Falcon"!! Give it to him- he's squirming!  
  
Bar-Ohki: I would follow Pak's advice- Pak knows more about that thing than is reasonable or healthy.  
  
Nana gave BIGben the duck.  
  
BIGben: Mr. Frodo!!! *hugs the duck with little pink hearts coming from his head*  
  
Everyone Else: o.O;; Ooooookay.  
  
Pakratt: -.- See?  
  
Link: Back to the question I had asked an extended period of time ago: what are we going to do with them?  
  
Bar-Ohki: Pow pow Picard!!  
  
Bar-Ohki's Note: I kicked everyone out of the room to tell you this: Picard is from Golden Sun and is called Piers in the English version.  
  
Everyone Else: o.O;;; She is insane, it's not me.  
  
Bar-Ohki: Picard would make a good Smasher.  
  
Link: I think I met someone named Picard....  
  
Bar-Ohki: He has blue hair and is from Lemuria.  
  
Link: How old his he?  
  
Bar-Ohki: Over 126. He looks like he is 17.  
  
Link: Was he traveling with in a group of 9?  
  
Bar-Ohki: Yes and he's a Mercury Adept.  
  
Link: I remember him. He thought there was a conspiracy against him.  
  
Bar-Ohki: About his age.  
  
Link: Yes. What is with the "pow pow Picard" thing?  
  
Bar-Ohki: Inside tradition Elena let me in on.  
  
Pakratt: We don't want to know, really we don't. I honestly don't care anymore, PLEASE NO MORE. NO NOT AGAIN. Hopefully.  
  
BIGben: To the dining room!  
  
Everyone Else: WHAT!?  
  
BIGben: We must feed.  
  
C. Falcon/ Link/ Nana: "We"?  
  
Pakratt: *sigh* I told you it is evil. EVIL I TELL YOU, DON'T TUCH IT, IT WILL KILL YOU...  
  
Bar-Ohki: Himself and Frodo.  
  
C. Falcon: On what?  
  
BIGben: Frogs!  
  
The Smashers present exchange disturbed expressions.  
  
Pakratt: Soda would be nice........  
  
Bar-Ohki: I have to admit that I need to nourish my body.  
  
Link: It's settled then!  
  
C. Falcon: What's settled?  
  
Link: Let's let Peach feed them and have them out of our hair.  
  
Pakratt: I'm not in your hair, nor would I want to. ITS GROSS SLIMY and DOESN'T MOVE!!!!  
  
BIGben: I think he meant figuratively.  
  
Link: Why did you say that about my hair? I washed it this morning.  
  
Pakratt: IT still DOESN'T MOVE!!!!!  
  
Authors' Note that is always found at the end of every chapter: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I'M GOING TO TORCHER YOU!!!!! Hopefully...... I AM NOW REQUIRING REVIEWS FOR CONTINUEA-TION!! Flame me if you want. I want to know just how insulting you can be. DON"T INSULT IT OR MR. FRODO WILL SEE YOU IN HELL. 


	3. Food!

Authors Note: (Pakratt) I got the keyboard First this time… I'm Good, It's my Birthday, O yah!!! I LOVE ICE CREAM!!! I LOVE LASAAGHNA, I LOVE MYSELF… unfortunately. *Bar-Ohki leaves a ½ gallon boll of ice cream on the middle of the floor. Pakratt notices it and runs off to consume it. Bar-Ohki takes control of the keyboard* HA! I win! We shall continue! What was I supposed to talk about? *sA: Nothing because we don't have any questions from reviews.* Oh. YOU WILL ENJOY THE STORY OR ELSE!!!!! Hopefully… REVIEW OR NO MORE CANDY… please… 

Summary of the story thus far: (Pakratt) Why me? I want to eat my ICE CREAM. DON'T BOTHER ME… I got the keyboard sticky, YYAAAHH. Uh-oh my finger is stuck to the FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF key see I told you so FFFFFFF. *Bar-Ohki: *sigh* At least this is the school's keyboard and not my LAPTOPfriend. I'll type then.* What? *gets grabbed form behind and flung in the general direction of his ICE CREAM. Bar-Ohki gets control.* Pakratt, BIGben, and I have fallen through the roof of Captain Falcon's room and we don't know why. Falcon and Link have grabbed the 3 of us and are going to take us to Peach. BIGben is now in possession of the corruptive rubber duck, Frodo. I have my handy-dandy-trusty pocket knife. I want LAPTOPfriend back! Oh, and there was a reference to Golden Sun: The Lost Age (the Picard thing).

Chapter 3: FOOD!

Bar-Ohki: ^o^ *singing* I ask you if you're game. You don't understand me now, but let me help you onto my field. And I'll teach you how to play my game with no rules.

Link: Where was that from?

Bar-Ohki: -.- Extemporaneous.

Pakratt: What?

BIGben: Made up on the spur of the moment.

Everyone Else (except Bar-Ohki): Oh.

Bar-Ohki: ^o^ *once again singing* Welcome n' make yourself at home 'cause nothing has rules. This place is a paradise. And for the right price you can play my game, a game without rules.

Pakratt: Leave her to her musac.

BIGben: Can you sing Frodo a lullaby?

Bar-Ohki: o.O; Um…I'd love to and all but I just don't know any lullabies.

BIGben: *HUGE sigh*

Link: Let us make extreme haste.

C. Falcon: Yes, let us.

They run as fast as they positively can to the kitchen. Peach looked up from the cake she was baking.

Peach: -_- What?

Link: The Master Hand "said" that we were to leave these children under your supervision. 

C. Falcon: And you are supposed to fed them.

The 2 men drop the kids and walk away very quickly. In fact they walked so quickly away Peach couldn't say anything to them.

Peach: Oh boy! Well if I have to keep an eye on the 3 of you-

Bar-Ohki/ Pakratt: o.o I'd rather you not!

BIGben: ………Must…have….frogs……………..

Peach: o.O;; -I might as well know your names. And I meant watch over the 3 of you to keep you out of mischief. 

Bar-Ohki: I am Bar-Ohki, the all-mighty fic-writer.

Pakratt: I am your master! LET ME LEAVE AND TAKE SOME OF THE CAKE!!! NOW… GO AWAY TO LEAVE ME WITH MY LOVELY CAKE…

Peach: *quietly* Weirdo…. *normal volume* And you? *looks to Bb*

BIGben: …………….Frogs…need…frogs……..

Peach: o.O;; Bar-Ohki, would you tell me the others' names.

Bar-Ohki: Why?

Peach: They won't tell me.

Pakratt: I did! I am your MASTER!!

Bar-Ohki: Why?

BIGben: ……….Frogs?

Author's Note: I probably should have written this earlier… But the song Bar-Ohki was singing earlier we own. AND YOU CANT'T USE IT!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Pakratt: Accept change with a smile!!! WE NEED MORE HELP THAN BEFORE!!! Thanks for listening to this ranting and raving child… WHO IS SUGAR DEPRIVED… AND YOUR master. SAY NO TO SCHOOL AND PUDDING!!! AND YES TO ANY SUGARY SUBSTANCES. I JUST DRANK MY LAST CAN OF "WOOP ASS" WE MUST EAT ALL OF THE TOPPING OFF OF THE CAKE AND NOT EAT ANY OF THE PARTIALY NUTRICIOUSE BREAD STUFF. THANK YOU MMMMMMMOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY…

Peach: o.O;;; What have I unwillingly gotten myself into?

Bar-Ohki: Time for a random, yet cruel, event.

Happy Little Authors' Note That Makes You Want To Kill Someone Because It Ends The Chapter: (Picard) There is no-one in here to do this but myself. Okay! *cracks knuckles* This is the end of the chapter (as you already know) and the authors are requesting reviews. Their message to you goes something like this: "REVIEW OR WE SHALL SEND THINGS OUT TO MAKE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE…hopefully….". They also require reviews for another chapter so please provide some. *Bar-Ohki, Pakratt, sA, and Krunk burst into the room* Um… BYE!!!


	4. A Chao For everyone

Authors' Note: (Bar-Ohki) . . I get to start all by myself. YOSH!! *BIGben sneaks up behind her and knocks her out with one swift chop to the neck. He then takes control and sets Frodo down beside the computer* What should I do now master? *pause* Yez, yez! I shall! *runs off, leaving Frodo behind. Pakratt comes in with "Whoop Ass" and stares at the sight. He takes control of the keyboard* MR. FRODO!!! How did you get here!?!? BIGben must have passed by…. Oh well. *opens up soda cans and chugs the soda* Ah, sugar, caffeine, other stuff that is bad for me… You annoy me. *summons a nuclear bomb via Author Power* I wonder why Bar-Ohki doesn't use this…. *puts bomb inside Frodo and makes it go off. Oddly nothing happens* That should have killed it! ***Flashback***

Freaky Guy Who Gave Frodo To BIGben (FG for short): It will give you ultimate power and is indestructible. 

BIGben: Cool! Can I have it?

FG: Sure! *gives BIGben the duck*

***End of Flashback*** Now I remember! I'll put you elsewhere! *hides the duck* Umm…nothing to say. Thankfully…… Onward with the story!!

Summary: (sA) Pakratt, Bar-Ohki, BIGben, have suddenly appeared in the Super Smash Brothers' HQ. After annoying Captain Falcon, they are taken to Peach. They scare Peach at many deep psychological levels where few would dare venture. Bar-Ohki has a pocket knife, Pakratt is very close to sugar, BIGben has Frodo and candy (somewhere). Peach needs therapy. Pakratt wants internet and IM. Bar-Ohki wants LAPTOPfriend. And we would rather not know about BIGben. Wow, this is like the shortest summary yet. *Bar-Ohki: That is because you are pithy and Pak isn't* That will explain it.

Chapter 4: A Chao for everyone...

??????: What am I, "Mr. Fancy Pants delivery man", doing in this weird 2-D world?

Bar-Ohki: You weren't supposed to notice that….

Pakratt: Who are you? And what do you have?

Fancy: I don't know what's in the box but this around my shoulder is a laptop. *Unslings LAPTOPfriend*

Bar-Ohki: LAPTOPfriend!!!!!!!! *Mugs LAPTOPfriend from delivery dude*

Peach: Get out of my kitchen you filthy man… GO!!! NOW…

Bar-Ohki grabs the box and kicks the guy into oblivion.

Pakratt: Present for me!!! GIVE IT!!!

BIGben: Mr. Frodo wants it!

Bar-Ohki: I don't care who gets it, I'm opening it! *opens box*

Out of the box hops the following chaos: Hux, Charon, and Rover. 

Bar-Ohki: HUX!! *picks chao up and hugs it*

Hux: Who are you? Where am I? Where is Shadow?

Bar-Ohki: I am Bar-Ohki, one of the sprits that Knuckles talked about. You are currently at Super Smash Brothers' HQ. I have no idea where Shadow is.

Pakratt: I AM YOUR MASTER!!!

Hux: -_- You aren't (you don't look a thing like Shadow).

BIGben: MR. FRODO!!!!

Hux: o.O;; I'll pass on that one.

Another Bar-Ohki Note: If you want to know more about Hux and chao in general please read "A chao for everyone". I wrote it so all you have to do is click on my name at the top of the story and it will take you to my personal page were you can get access to all my stories.

Note of Minimum Importance Brought To You By Pakratt: Hello.

Charon: What?

Bar-Ohki: Time for a random event!

Rover: What?

Hux: When she says that she means that.

Pakratt puts his hand into his pocket and pulled out the Master Sword. 

Pakratt: It wasn't me! Honest!! *hides Master Sword behind his back*

Hux: -.- That blade is longer than you are tall. How can you possibly hide it behind your back?

Peach: Link is going to KILL you.

Pakratt: Not for long!

Link comes in, looking for something.

Pakratt: Just to raise your self-esteem, I need more help than you. 

Link: If that isn't evident.

Pakratt: Cheese whiz makes up 90% of your daily fat!

Hux: I don't know whose worse, you or Egghead.

Pakratt: ME!! ME!! IT'S ALL ME, ALL THE TIME!!!! Cheese whiz.

Hux: o.O; Correction, make that you are worse than Egghead. Have you ever visited an insane asylum for reiteration?

Pakratt: My mom took me to an insane asylum and I jumped out the window and people yelled "He's escaping from the Happy Home, get him!!".

Link: And let me guess, she never took you back.

Pakratt: She never knew I left, you see they kept her.

Bar-Ohki: Then I took him and Bb in.

Link: Are you okay?

Bar-Ohki: I don't know.

Pakratt: You will never know… I control your puny brains… WE LIVE TO SERVE ME!!! BRING ME ICE CREAM… NOW!!! Mommy, help me. I Got all A's in PE!!! can I have a $50? ME AND MY FRIENDS WILL BE NICE AND SEND YO THE CAKE THATWE ATE WITH A FILE IN IT… It's been through our digestive systems of course… But hey, what the heck, it's still is good!!! *Pulls out TI85 types a couple numbers and says it's a phone* "WHERES MY PUDDING? I TOLD YOU I WANTED PUDDING!!! NOW YOU BUMBLING FOOLS, NOW I SAY!!! Woo, lots at say in such a short time ^_^ AND I DID IT WWWEEEEEEEEEEE….!

Link: I need my sword back.

Pakratt: How do you know I have it?

Hux: I told you earlier, ITS LONGER THAN YOU ARE TALL!!

Link: That'll about some it up. o.O What happened to you!? *points to Rover*

Bar-Ohki: Once there was a guy with no legs!! Do do do do-do! *puts on fake Jamaican accent* 'Cause he ate too many bats.

Rover: That'll some it up.

Link: Your floating around with no legs because you ate too many bats?

Rover: Yes.

Link: Pakratt, I shall take my blade from you by force if you don't hand it over peacefully.

Pakratt: Never!! You can never have it!! Its my precious!!

Link: ……………

Bar-Ohki: He isn't corrupted, trust me.

Link charges at Pak. He jumps over Pakratt at the last second and takes the Master Sword from its "hidden" spot behind Pak's back. Link raised his left hand (which now held the Master Sword) and sent the held crashing down upon Pak's head, knocking the boy out. 

Peach: My hero!! *jumps into Link's arms*

Link: I have a girlfriend.

Peach: SO??? What if she sees us together? You will dumper her for me?

Link: No.

Peach: ;_;

Link: She'll kill me if she sees this. *drops Peach* Bye! *leaves*

Hux: Yummy cake!

Peach: *hair frizzed out and panicked* WHAT!?!

Hux had eaten all the cake while everyone was doing other things.

Ending Authors' Note: REVIEW!!!


	5. Harry Potter and Haircuts

Authors' Note: (Bar-Ohki) There will be a small Harry Potter reference, he is owned by J. K. Rowling. Um…wow I haven't updated for a long time despite the fact that I had the next three chapters written. *sA: You got grounded and wasn't allowed to use the internet for ANYTHING!!* Yeah, school's out and updates will be more consistent and frequent…hopefully….

Summary: (Bar-Ohki) Pakratt, BIGben, and myself have, for reasons unknown, wound up in SSB HQ. After an odd encounter with Captain Falcon and Link we were taken to Peach. Nana was there too. I carry along my trusty pocket knife and LAPTOPfriend. BIGben has candy and Frodo, the Rubber Ducky that is evil. Pakratt is unconscious (after being knocked out by Link) and is very close to sugar. The chao Hux, Charon, and Rover were delivered here to join us by Mr. Fancy Pants delivery man, who I kicked into oblivion. Hux ate Peach's cake. I love quick summaries, don't you? *Pakratt: I still don't see the point of summarizing 12½ pages of material.* It used to be 3 and now it is 12½, it is only going to get longer. Do you see a point in summarizing 24¾ pages of written material? *Pakratt: Yes.* The story is probably going to get longer than that. *Pakratt: Oh…*

Chapter 5: Harry Potter and hair-cuts.

Peach: I have to make another one now THANKS!!

Bar-Ohki: Bb, have I ever told you how much you look like Harry Potter, especially with those glasses?

BIGben: *hides head in his shirt* I do not!!

Bar-Ohki: If your hair was jet black and you had the scar on your forehead you would.

BIGben: I DO NOT!!!

Hux: Who is Harry Potter?

Everyone turns and stares at the chao.

Peach: Yeah, who IS he?

Bar-Ohki: Character from a book.

Hux: That tells me nothing.

Bar-Ohki: Good!! I like it better that way!

Hux: You are mentally disabled aren't you?

Bar-Ohki: Yes, I have been diagnosed with Asbuger's Syndrome. 

Hux: o.O Okay, I meant that sarcastically.

Bar-Ohki: They think Albert Einstein had it and Bill Gates.

Hux: I really do not need to know more.

Peach: That would be what is wrong with YOU. *points to Bar-Ohki* Can you explain the other 2?

Bar-Ohki: Bb was corrupted by his Rubber Ducky Frodo. Pakratt is on a constant sugar hi.

Peach: Okay.

Bar-Ohki: Random event!!

Zelda walks in.

Zelda: What is random of my coming?

Hux: 'Tis the mere fact that no-one excepted thou.

Charon: That and we were doing other things.

Zelda decided not to ask about that. She noticed Pakratt on the floor, in a mangled heap.

Zelda: What happened to him!?

Ear splitting bang comes from outside.

Bar-Ohki: He nor I know how he managed to pull the Master Sword out of his pocket. Link came in looking for it.

Hux: He had it "hidden" behind his back.

Peach: And Link took the sword from the boy and knocked him out.

BIGben: WHERE ARE OUR FROGS!?!?!?!?!

Everyone jumped up and away from the freakish boy. 

Hux: What was that???

Peach: Don't worry about that thinks like that happen all of the time. 

Pakratt: *conscious* @_@ What happened? I FEEL CORRUPTED…HELP ME IT'S COMING!!!! THE BIGGEST EVENT OF THE SEASON…HOMER SIMPSON…PULLS…OFF…THE…BIG…ONE… BY…PULLING…DOWN HIS PAN… *Link walks in and hits Pakratt over the head with the butt of a double barreled shot gun * 

Link: This thing does more damage than the Master Sword! You should have seen what it did to the Yoshi looking out the window!!

Zelda: If your friend is corrupted give him this. *Hands a glass to Bar-Ohki*

Bar-Ohki: Orange juice?!?!?

BIGben: NNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T ANY OF YOU GIVE THAT STUFF TO MY CORRUPTED FRIEND!!!!!

BANG!!!

Link shoots his shotgun and misses BIGben by just an inch, sending the corrupted fool into a corner to pet Frodo and beg for more frogs before they die of good air…. Bar-Ohki then pours the glass of orange juice down Pakratts throat.

Pakratt: I feel somewhat normal again…

Everyone else: NORMAL?!!!!?!?

Pakratt: Yep! Normal… FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!!! 

Bar-Ohki: If you are normal, then you will be weird to everyone else, making you abnormal. 

Pakratt: Wait! I feel something else coming… I'm back to BEING NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bar-Ohki/Hux: AHH!! WHAT KNID OF THING HAS THE GOD DONE?!?! WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOW!!?!

Pakratt: No you do, I am as normal as I always am. IWANTCANDYIWANTCANDYIWANTCANDYI-WANTCANDY!!!

Charon: STOP SINGING OR I WILL GET HUX AND ME TO BEAT YOU ALL UP AND TAKE OVER THIS PUNY WORLD!!!

Everyone else (EVEN HUX): ?_? What?

Pakratt: Sorry…NOT!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! GOT YA, HE NEED HELP! LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST…SO EAT MORE CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!

C. Falcon: *comes in just to see the three and start to leave again but Link stops him.* Hi…can I get away from these EVIL and demented people?

Link: Yes, in a bit. But first I wanted to give you this… *Link hands C. Falcon the shotgun*

C. Falcon: SSSSSSSSSWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks Link!!!! I don't know how to thank you… GET READY TO DIE YOU EVIL MUNCHKINS WHO HAVE RUINED MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *points shot gun at the trio and fires a random shot* WWHHHHHOOOOOOOO!!!! What a kick back! You sure you don't want it Link?

Link: Na! I miss the good old handy Master Sword…

Pakratt/BIGben: o.O;;; Take it back Link before he blows our heads off…PLEASE!

Rover: CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All: What?

Rover: CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pakratt: Watermelon.

Rover: Cheese.

Bar-Ohki: HaPPy_HearT@muse_mail.com!!

Giant Block Of Cheese falls from sky, landing on C. Falcon.

C. Falcon: UUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGG…my head…

Link: Someone should get him aspirin…

C. Falcon: NO, if I'm a really tough fighter I can take on Might Molly the Migraine…. Can I have a lolly pop?

Pakratt: MMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE too!!!! IWANTONEIWANTONEIWANTONE!!!!!

BIGben: Frogs?

All: NO!!!!

C. Falcon: Get this hunk of cheese off of me NOW! Before I get my hand free and crack some skulls.

Peach: Let's have cheese and crackers…

Hux: I am NOT having any of that cheese AFTER HE was in it!!!

Pakratt: I think that would make me sicker than I am already…

Bar-Ohki: He admits it!

C. Falcon; Hey, I would eat some of this cheese, maybe… UUUUHHHHOOOOOO!!!! I suggest none of us eat it, there was a LITTLE accident this morning and it has kept me from taking a shower…

All except Rover: NNNNAAAAAAASSSSSTTTTTYYYYYYY, BLECH, Gross… *Half of the people run to the bathroom to take a MAJOR HURL.*

Rover: MMMMMMMMMMM!!!! MMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!! That's some GOOD cheese…

Everybody who didn't barf the first time run to barf (Bar-Ohki didn't run ether time).

Rover: What? Was it something I did? Or do I smell? 

C. Falcon: GET ME OUT FROM UNDER THIS CHEESE!!!

Rover: Give it a couple of days and I'll have it all eaten… 

Picard: *who just appeared 'cause I wanted him to*: You ate the cheese. And that is not a good thing. *disappears*

Bar-Ohki: Merda!! I wanted to- never mind.

C. Falcon: What, make-out?

Bar-Ohki: o.O; What kind of sicko do you take me for!?

Rover: ^-^ *farts* YOSH!!

Bar-Ohki: If only my life was that simple….

C. Falcon: *gags from the seriously poisonous gas* What!?

Bar-Ohki: Look he is getting excited over FARTING! I get excited over much greater things!

C. Falcon: Like making out with that guy!

Bar-Ohki: You despicable, degusting, stupid, Yoshi-hating, piece of rat treasure!!!! *knocks C. Falcon out*

Rover: What did you want to do?

Bar-Ohki: I wanted to give him a "pow pow Picard"!

Rover: Whatever…. ^-^ *farts* YOSH!!!

Picard: *reappears* -I don't want to!! *notices that he is elsewhere* ALEX, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!

Bar-Ohki: Pow pow Picard!! *runs over and glomps him*

Picard: WHAT IS WITH THAT!?!?!

Rover: *farts* YOSH!!!

Bar-Ohki: ^-^ Maybe I will tell you in the next chapter!!

Everyone who had left came back from the bathroom except for Link, who went on with his merry life. Pakratt's hair had been cut.

Bar-Ohki: You got a hair cut!

Peach: *holding nose shut* What is that smell!?

Picard: Get off of me!

Zelda: His hair was such a tangled mat, it looks so much better now.

Rover: How did that happen? *farts* YOSH!!!!

Bar-Ohki: That would be it!

***Flashback***

Zelda: I am going to do something about that boy's hair!!

Peach: Good luck….

Zelda left the bathroom and returned dragging the kicking and screaming Pakratt. She stands him up strait and casts a spell that freezes him in the position. She garbed a pair of scissors and cuts his hair.

Pakratt: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! MY LOVEY HAIR!!! WHY MY HAIR!?!?!?!

Zelda: It is so much better!!

***End of flashback***

Bar-Ohki: Oh, I like it!

Pakratt: *hiding his head in his shirt* No it is not!!

Picard: I have not seen your hair beforehand, thus I can have but one comment.

Pakratt: What?

Picard: You look like a geek.

Pakratt: HEY!!! *charges at Picard*

Bar-Ohki lets go of Picard. Picard then jumps over Pakratt and casts 'Cool' on Pakratt. Pakratt gets cut all over.

Picard: Oops! *casts 'Pure Ply'*

Pakratt: WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?!?!?!?!!!!??!!!!

Picard: Automatic battle reflex?

Bar-Ohki: Leave Picard alone! Random event!!

Roy walks in.

Roy: Hey! How did this blue haired guy get in here?

Picard: Alex cast 'Warp' on me.

Bar-Ohki: I wish I knew how I got here….

Roy: Names anyone?

Picard: Picard of Lemuria.

Bar-Ohki: Bar-Ohki, the All-Mighty-Fic-Writer!!

Pakratt: I AM YOUR MASTER!!!!

Hux: Actually his name is 'Pakratt'. I am Hux.

Rover: CHEESE!!!! *eats some more*

Hux: Actually his name is Rover.

BIGben: *raises from the dead* Yez. All hail Frodo!!! *worships duck*

Roy: o.O;; What are you on and where can I get some?

Pakratt: IT'S EVIL, EVIL I SAY!!!!

Peach: His is referring to the Rubber Duck.

BIGben: Frodo!!!

Roy: That must be the name of the duck.

Bar-Ohki: It is.

Charon: I am Charon.

Bar-Ohki: *singing* And he means everything to her. Her boyfriend, he don't know -anything- about her age. Too stone. Nintendo. I wish that I could make her see: she's just the flavor of the week.

Authors' Note: We don't know "Flavor of the week".

Roy: Ooooookay!

Picard: And this is from the lady who runs up and latches herself onto me.

Bar-Ohki: At least I'm not like Jenna, she tackles you.

Picard: Hee….

Roy: You are all a bunch of lunatics!

Bar-Ohki: Oh, and the corrupted kid who looks like Harry Potter, his name is BIGben.

Roy: How can that duck corrupt anything?

Ending Note: I, the random person who exists for this one purpose, am telling you to review and flame if necessary. Have fun and expect more from Bar-Ohki and Pakratt soon!


	6. Fire VS Water, guess who's gonna win?

Authors' Note: Look I know some people are nervous to say anything or to not say anything without an account, but if you just leave an anonymous review that just at least acknowledges that you read the story you will make me feel so much better about writing this. I really would like some feed back instead of none.

Summary: (BIGben) Where is master? Must find master!! MASTER!!!! *Bar-Ohki: I have master and I will give him to you if you summarize the story.* MUST SEE MASTER!!! *Bar-Ohki shows him an ordinary rubber duck* MASTER!!! *Bar-Ohki: Now for your end of the bargain!* Me, Master, Pakratt, Bar-Ohki are at Super Smash Brothers' Headquarters. Pakratt was given orange juice and brought back to the other side. Picard and Roy showed up. Zelda and Peach are here. C. Falcon got stuck underneath the cheese which Rover is eating. I was killed but master brought me back to life. Link left. Bar-Ohki got LAPTOPfriend back and we want our frogs! Hux and Charon showed up too. Nana came and left. Everyone went away to hurl because of Rover. Peach has to bake a new cake. And I can I have master back now? *Bar-Ohki: Sure, I hope someone can make sense of that…* MASTER!! *is given the normal duck* This isn't Master!!! *throws duck. Bar-Ohki: I thought that WAS Frodo, all rubber ducks look alike!*

Chapter 6: Water vs. fire, guess who's gonna win?

Roy: Lovely, you must be the psychos Ness said were going to appear out of nowhere and make most of us wish we had never been born.

Bar-Ohki: ^-^ Yup!

Picard: I don't think I am one of them….

Roy: What makes you say that?

Picard: Alex, the EVIL Mercury Adept, teleported me here. That and I am not the type to burst off into song at random and get all happy over farting.

Rover: *farts* YOSH!!! *eats more cheese*

Picard: I am leaving before the stink gets to me.

Roy: Let me join you!

Bar-Ohki: Let me get these two and we'll be off!

Bar grabs Bb and Pak and drags the two off as she follows Picard and Roy to the lounge. Peach and Zelda start cleaning up the kitchen. Hux and Charon run after Picard because he is the only sane person about. Once the group reaches the lounge they discover Fox dancing to some music, that just happened to be coming from Pak's CD player.

CD player: We are building a religion. We are building it bigger, we are widening the corridors and adding more lanes. We are building a religion, a limited edition. We are now excepting callers for these pendant key chains. To resist is useless, it is useless to resist it. This cigarette is burning, but it never seems to ash. He is grooming his poodle. He is living comfort eagle. You can meet at his location but you'd better come with cash. Now his hat is on backwards. He can show you his tattoos. He is in the music business. He is calling you DUDE.

Bar-Ohki: Why are you listening to "Comfort Eagle" by Cake?

Authors' Note: Cake owns Comfort Eagle not us, OKAY!?

Pakratt: CAKE!?!!! WHERE!?!?!?!?!!!!!

Fox: I just pressed the button labeled 'Power' then the button labeled 'Play' and it started making music.

Bar-Ohki: Hey Pak! This is MY CD, what is it doing in YOUR CD player?

Pakratt: You were listening to it!

Bar-Ohki: ^-^;; Oh yeah! I was, wasn't I?

Everyone falls over anime style (even Bar-Ohki).

Picard: Why did you join us on the floor?

Bar-Ohki: To make you feel better about it!

Roy: Freak!

Picard: Indeed!

Pakratt: I agree!!

Bar-Ohki: What is better, standing back and blowing at your opponent from a distance? Or being right up front and letting your fists (or swords) do the talking?

Fox: Attacking from a distance.

Roy: Up front.

Picard: I like to use both in a balanced manner.

Pakratt: Which is better? Slow and strong, or fast and weak?

Fox: Fast and weak.

Roy: Slow and strong.

Picard: Average speed and decent strength. 

Bar-Ohki: Which is the better tactic? To use one hit or a set of strong hits to get rid of your opponent, or to beet at them from a distance then go in for the kill?

Fox: Beet at them from a distance.

Roy: Hit them with as many strong hits as you can!

Picard: It depends on the opponent. If my opponent has great strength, I would fight from a distance. If I have a weaker opponent, I would attack up close. Or if I didn't know my opponent's strength, I would hit at him up close then go back to heal then go at him again.

Roy: What do you mean "go back and heal"?

Picard: I would cast 'Ply', 'Ply Well', or 'Pure Ply', which ever is appropriate, on myself.

Fox: 'Ply'!? What are you on and where can I get some?

Picard: Nothing! 'Ply' is the healing power of Mercury.

Roy: So THAT'S what you are on, mercury!

Picard: I am a Mercury Adept! I call forth the powers of Mercury to do my biding at any time!

Roy: Yeah, right; POT HEAD!!!

Picard: *very angry* HEY!!!

Bar-Ohki: Can I continue?

Fox: Sure!

Bar-Ohki: Roy, you are the up-close-and-personal get-it-done-right-away type of fighter. 

Picard: A Mars Adept style!

Bar-Ohki: That is so very appropriate, Roy is a pyro and uses fire with his swordsmanship. Fox, you are the weaken then quickly kill type.

Fox: Yup!

Picard: A Jupiter Adept style!

Bar-Ohki: Yup! And you Picard, are a well balanced fighter that changes his strategy depending on his opponent. I like Picard's tactics because they are harder to get yourself killed by.

Roy: Why not mine!?

Pakratt: I like Fox's!

Roy: Are you all against me!?

Hux: I personally use Picard's in Chao Karate.

Charon: Me too!

Roy: *looks for someone who does not disagree with him and decides that he would rather not want to know what BIGben thinks* What is wrong with me tactics?

Pakratt: They suck, that's all.

Bar-Ohki: I have great endurance but not much power, Picard's tactics suet me better.

Roy: I can prove to you mine are better!!

Picard: And at the same time I can teach you NOT to underestimate the powers of Mercury!

Roy: You're on!!

Fox: I'll go set up the stage, which one and with what?

Bar-Ohki: Final Destination with no items, that'll put them to the test!

Fox: Indeed it will. I'll make it one minute so that it will go fast.

Fox leaves. BIGben starts ramming a wall (head first) repeatedly. Bar-Ohki and Pakratt start taking bets on who will win. After they get board doing that they get out LAPTOPfriend and start typing down what has happened to them thus far. Picard stretches and does some minor aerobic activity to warm up. Roy fights an imaginary opponent to warm up.

Bar-Ohki: LEAVE MIKE ALONE!!!!!!!

Roy: WHAT!?!

Bar-Ohki: *sniff* You hurt Mike!

Roy: What!?!

Picard: Perhaps you should stop attacking your imaginary opponent.

Roy stopped. Bar-Ohki ran over to "Mike" and knelt down beside him.

Bar-Ohki: *to Roy* You big, red-haired, sword-wielding, fire-zealot!! MIKE HATES YOU!!!!!!

Pakratt: Give her 10 and she'll be over it.

Roy: Are you sure?

Pakratt: Yeah, just pray she doesn't attack you.

Roy: Lovely….

Picard: Don't worry, I might heal you if she hurts you.

Roy: I'm so glad you care- EEP!!

Bar-Ohki had lunged at Roy and was now holding onto his leg.

Bar-Ohki: GRRRRR!!

Roy: *very nervous* Wo-o-ow-w!

Picard: What?

Roy: *shaking* I-I-I-m sc-c-ar-ar-ed!!!

Hux: Not nearly scared enough!

Pakratt: JUST LIKE ME BEING NORMAL!!! BIGben, WHERE'S MY CANDY!?!?!?!

BIGben: ….Um….

Pakratt: You said you brought it!

BIGben: I forgot where I put it….

Bar-Ohki: *suddenly not interested in killing Roy* I know!!

BIGben: What?

Bar-Ohki: Have you tried your pocket?

BIGben: *puts hand in pocket* Yez! That's it!!

Pakratt: GIVE ME!!!!!!!!

Roy: *clamed down* Can you get off my leg?

Bar-Ohki: I'll let you go, FOR NOW!!! *gets off of Roy*

Roy: *gulp*

Bar-Ohki: Bb, why don't you share your candy?

Fox Comes in.

Fox: All set! Oh! Here's your converter. *hands Picard a bracelet*

Picard: ?_? What?

Fox: It's to turn damage into percentage, no Smasher goes onto a stage without one. That and you won't get killed wearing it.

Picard put it on under his red cloth that he normally wore around his wrist.

Roy: Let's go!

Pakratt: Clinging-ness is a sign of love!! Woo! Hoo! Man that just came to me LOOOOOOOVVVEERRS!!

Bar-Ohki: That was more random than I am when I am on a sugar hi, and THAT is saying something!!

Picard: Let me guess, you are the one who is sane but does not appear to be that way.

Bar-Ohki: Yes, and the one who asks all the stupid philosophical that make you stop and think then regret that you thought about something until it made your head hurt and forget about it. I also point out the odd and obscure logic that is plainly obvious!

Roy: You are logical?

Pakratt: There is a method to her madness, we just don't know what it is.

Bar-Ohki: And for someone who thinks very differently than I, would probably be better off not knowing.

Picard: She has a point there….

Hux: So basically everyone in this room is very sane, it is just that their standards of behavior are very different from that that are here?

Pakratt: In simple English, yes.

Bar-Ohki: I like the incomprehensible prattle version that we normally use on people to annoy them.

Ending Note: (Bar-Ohki) *looks at the little feature in the corner that tells you what page you are on of how many pages in the document* Wow…five pages…. Should we stop? *Pakratt: Probably…* Okay. REVIEW!!!! Wow… six pages… *Pakratt: You can stop that now!* Oro? *Picard: Trying to catch the SAME fish in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time: MASTER QUEST.* Yeah, I do kind of get carried away sometimes, don't I? *Monty Python God Guy That Gives King Arthur His Quest For The Holy Gail: GET ON WITH IT!!!!!!* Alright! REVIEW!!!! Or we shall…um…come back to us another time when we have figured out a punishment for not reviewing. REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! If THAT doesn't get the point across, I don't know what will!


	7. Water wins

Authors' Note: (Picard) What is with them running away? Anyway since this is being updated right after two other chapters, I don't have anything to say. Thank you, and please review and rescue me.

Summary: (Picard) I wonder when they will be back…. Bar-Ohki, Pakratt, BIGben, Hux, Charon, Rover, and myself have managed (by some absurd methods) wound up at SSB HQ. Bar-Ohki has her computer and pocket knife, Pakratt has his CD player, BIGben has Frodo and candy, Rover is eating the cheese on top of Captain Falcon, Hux and Charon are following me around to stay sane, and I am about to show Roy what the powers of Mercury can do. Yoshi, Nana, Link, Peach, Zelda, Captain Falcon, and Rover have all came and left. Fox is around. 

Chapter 7: Water wins

Fox: Roy, you take Picard down to the battle entry station and I will take the others to the audience section.

Roy: Did you register Picard into the computer?

Fox: No.

Roy: I don't want to register him!!

Fox: You don't have to, he's wearing a Male Wire Frame converter. The computer thinks he's a Male Wire Frame. 

Picard: What?

Fox: I didn't want to register him unless I was certain that he was going to join.

Roy: I see.

Pakratt: Is there going to be blood, gore, and all that good stuff?

Bar-Ohki: No.

Pakratt: Why not!?

Bar-Ohki: If it is anything like the game, there won't be.

Pakratt: Dang….

Hux: So BIGben, what about that candy?

Pakratt: GIVE ME MY CANDY!!!!!

Bar-Ohki: Save it for the match.

Pakratt: I want it now!

Hux: Well too bad! *flies up and grabs Pakratt by his shirt collar* Lead the way!

Fox and Roy follow their plan. Everyone is sitting in the audience and BIGben, at long last, gave Bar-Ohki and Pakratt there candy.

Pakratt: MY LOVE!!!! MY WONDERFUL, LOVE!!!!

Bar-Ohki: Freak…..

Fox: Are you okay?

Bar-Ohki: Sometimes I wonder….

Pakratt: She's more okay than I.

Bar-Ohki: Mercury is rising still. Turn off every light. I won't step on my own shadow. No-one wants to cry.

Authors' Note: (Bar-Ohki) I don't know the name of the song, but it is by REM and is on 'Reveal'. We don't own it.

Hux: Or is she?

Picard and Roy are beamed down to the stage on the little Melee coins.

Announcer Guy: READY!?…. GO!!

Roy jumped up and struck at Picard who had moved out of the way just in the nick of time. Picard swung his axe at Roy who countered, sending Picard flying. Picard jumped back onto the stage with very little difficulty. 

Pakratt: He must be one of those heavy and strong, yet slow type.

Roy jumped down to meet Picard.

Bar-Ohki: He has average speed, excellent defense and a bit on the heavy side. His attack is average.

Picard rolled behind Roy then swung his axe at him, sending Roy flying.

Pakratt: Interesting combination….

Roy got back onto the stage with ease.

Bar-Ohki: Yup! He has excellent jump too, but a bad saver throw…

Picard jumped away so that he was right across from Roy.

Pakratt: What is his saver throw?

Roy charged at Picard who cast 'Diamond Dust' at Roy which came spurting out like the Ice Climber's 'Blizzard' but further and delivered less damage.

Bar-Ohki: 'Diamond Dust'! 'Warp', it goes about as far as Sheik's vanish thing.

Roy quickly recovered and continued his charge at Picard.

Pakratt: And he makes up for it in jumping?

Picard garbed Roy and begun to hit on the head with the butt of his axe.

Fox: He has to. And what was with the 'Diamond Dust' thing?

Roy managed to get lose of Picard's grasp and slashed at Picard with his sword.

Pakratt: You aren't part of this conversation!

Picard had put up a shield just in time.

Bar-Ohki: He is, and so are the chao.

Picard jumped around Roy and sent him hurtling upward with a upward moving blow from his axe.

Pakratt: Oh…

Picard cast 'Warp' to get to the upper platform just in time to send Roy upward again.

Bar-Ohki: 'Warp'!

Roy came down and struck at Picard.

Fox: What IS with THAT!?

Picard took the hits and escaped down to the bottom platform.

Pakratt: She and I like to play "Name that Move", she knows Picard's moves and I don't.

Fox nodded as Picard cast 'Ply' on himself.

Bar-Ohki: 'Ply'!

Roy came down, sword a-slashing. Picard cast 'Cool' on Roy, freezing him.

Pakratt: 'Cool'!

Picard sent Roy flying and this time Roy became magnified.

Hux: How did you know that one?

Pakratt: He used it on me. ON ME! JUST LIKE ME!!!

Hux: You are disturbing!

Roy came back into view and Picard jumped up to meet him. Picard stabbed his axe upward, like Link does with his sword. Roy went upward again.

Bar-Ohki: Let's cheer Picard on!

Fox: What would that sound like? 

Roy came down again just to get sent back up and be KOed. He hit the front of the screen.

Pakratt: You know your chant, right?

Fox: Yeah, it's "Go Fox! *clap clap-clap* "Go Fox!"

Bar-Ohki: Instead of 'go' say 'Pi' and in the place of 'Fox' say 'card'. Repeat after the claps.

Picard set his axe down and whipped the sweat from his forehead.

Picard: Whew!!

Bar-Ohki: Fighter Stance!

Hux: One, two, three!

Everyone in the audience: Pi-card!! *clap clap-clap* Pi-card!! *clap clap-clap*

Roy came back down and used as many powerful blows as he could on Picard. Picard jumped back and healed himself and, oddly enough Roy. 

Bar-Ohki: 'Ply'!

Pakratt: How come Roy got healed?

Fox: It didn't matter.

Picard came down and showed Roy his great axe hacking skills.

Bar-Ohki: If it just worked on him, it would be too much of an advantage. 

Charon: So it works on Roy too so that it makes someone think twice before they use it.

To make a long struggle short, Roy got knocked off and Picard went about healing himself.

Bar-Ohki: 'Ply'!

Pakratt: But it is still a serious advantage if Roy has minimum health and Picard takes himself up to that level of health.

Bar-Ohki: Wait until you see Roy.

Roy came down and was immune to damage and being sent flying for abnormally long.

Charon: So if you use it when your opponent has no damage they become invincible.

Bar-Ohki: Making 'Ply' a very interesting move.

Announcer Guy: TIME!!

A score board appeared and Picard was in the background as it played the 'Golden Sun Theme'. His axe was on the ground beside him and Picard was getting squirted in the face by his djinn, Shade. Picard looked as though Shade was shooting out the water too hard. The scores were: 

Item: Picard's Results: Roy's Results: 

KOs:20

Falls:02

SDs:00

__________________________________________

Total:2-2

Bar-Ohki: Picard won!!

Ending Note: (sA) What will happen to Picard now that he has beet Roy? What will Become of Roy now that he has lost to someone who is not a Smasher? What will happened to everyone because Pakratt was given sugar? Has Rover finished the cheese? Why didn't BIGben say anything this entire chapter? What is Frodo up to now? What happened to Nana? Why am I doing this? Will Picard get to go home and see his beloved Lemuria again? Will the chao get home? How did Pakratt, Bar-Ohki, and BIGben get here? Why are they here? How did Link get that gun anyways? What is with all that Yoshi killing? How did the cheese get onto C. Falcon? Will I get him mad calling him that? Will he ever know I did? Will I remember what I was going to say next? Is the plot developing? When will be the next update? What crazy song will Bar-Ohki sing only part of next? What will become of Fox? Will I stop asking questions? Will- *gets garbed from behind by Pakratt who takes control* -you review? The answers to these questions and more in the next chapter! Hopefully………..


End file.
